My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
