So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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