ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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