his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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