weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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