arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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