Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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