Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
