4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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