how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
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Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
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Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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