Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize