I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
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I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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