Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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