Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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