New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize