The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
