As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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