And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
