What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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