Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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