planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
