Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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