Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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