okay pat passed out under dana's car
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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