He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
