Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
