apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
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its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
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Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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