i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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