You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize