Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
