I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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