The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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