put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I got inside last night via doggy door
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
