The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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