Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
