I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
