we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
