okay pat passed out under dana's car
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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