bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
