I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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