glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
