youre lurking in front of me
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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