I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
