Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
