He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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