.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
