Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
