So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
