I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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