I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
