you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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