fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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