you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Everclear isn't food dammit
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize