and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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