dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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