Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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