so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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