And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
