dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I did not marry a roomba.
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